


Don't Pick Up the Pieces

by wallofwindows



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: BONCAS, Fluff, Holiday, M/M, Phan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 10:05:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14566680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wallofwindows/pseuds/wallofwindows
Summary: Post-boncas fluff about not keeping themselves a secret anymore...





	Don't Pick Up the Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> Commission for @alittledizzy for Fandoms For Puerto Rico

As expected, neither Dan or Phil cared very much for the after party. It was unnecessarily loud, cameras were pretty much everywhere, and more than anything they just wanted to have some time alone, just the two of them. It didn’t help that they had won several of the awards and there were destined to be a few disgruntled faces in the crowd. They really didn’t want to stay, but they were obliged. It would look bad if they just took their awards and ran, without a care for anyone else. So they stuck around for a little while, begrudgingly engulfed in a sea of congratulations and alcohol and chaos and vlogs.

After the obligatory hour, they made a quick escape out the back door of the building. It seemed that in the hour the crowds had died down and they weren’t bombarded. The cool evening breeze that met them was nice: they’d been overheating in their suits inside but had been too stubborn to take their jackets off. It was also a breath of fresh air for them that they didn’t have to be so much on guard anymore. They were pretty much alone again.

They quickly hailed a cab.Though the party had been kind of miserable, they were still somewhat giddy from the show. Their audience had attended in full force, and it was a nice reminder to Dan that everything he and Phil were doing on YouTube was worthwhile. Though it had hurt his throat a fair bit, he did enjoy the opportunity to perform throughout the event. 

He was in bliss. His brain was calm for the first time in a while, after all the chaos of their past year. He rested his head on Phil’s shoulder, unaware of anything except Phil’s hand squeezing his. He spent the entirety of the cab ride like this, just ignoring the world for a few moments.

After a little while, the cab came to a halt and parked on the side of the road. Dan peered out of the car window, expecting to see their building. Instead, he could see the London Eye. It occurred to him that he hadn’t actually paid attention when Phil told the driver where to drop them off. Phil must’ve been in a spontaneous mood. Dan raised an eyebrow at Phil, and Phil just responded with a smirk. Dan mirrored exactly that. Dan passed the driver his fare and hopped out of the car, Phil following right behind. 

As the cab drove away, Dan anticipated Phil dropping his hand. It was something that over the years had become quite routine. But, it didn’t happen. Instead, Dan found himself being led toward the wheel.

At least for the night, even more so than earlier, neither of them really gave a damn about keeping their secret. They felt free. They didn’t care that they were still wearing their suits and that it drew attention. They didn’t care that someone could easily see. They just didn’t care. Maybe they were more ready to yell it to the world than they’d thought. Whispering for so long had put a strain on their voices, and they were ready to shout.

They hadn’t been so carefree since they were young and freshly in love. The guards that had been cracking all day started shattering altogether. And they didn’t want to pick up the pieces. Not that night, and maybe not ever.

Somewhere music was playing. A love song of sorts. Telling a story not unlike their own. Somewhere lights were twinkling. Starlight in the city. Fireflies in England. Each glinting like joy in their eyes and those of a thousand other lovers. Sparking fires in hearts. Somewhere there was voices. Murmurs of life. Murmur of truth. Murmurs of everything.

And they heard all of it. And they heard none of it. And they saw all of it. And they saw none of it. They experienced everything and something, something and nothing, nothing and everything. Fear and Joy. Joy and Sorrow. Sorrow and Euphoria. All at once.

They were in their own little world, away from from everything and yet still a part of it all. Away from everyone yet in the midst of them. In a crowd but feeling free. Seemingly ignorant of everything, yet taking it all in. It was a high. Yet it was also a low, because not every moment could be like this in the reality they lived in. But they chose to see it as a high, to cherish it.

Soon they made it to the wheel. A flood of bittersweet memories came back to Dan. Secrets that weren’t secrets just as him and Phil. He felt like his eighteen year old self for a moment, waiting at the bottom of the ferris wheel. His heart was fluttering like a pair of wings, fireflies igniting it. It glowed and he glowed. A different wheel, a different eye, but Phil still the apple of his.

Much like the first time, as they stepped into a car on the wheel, their hands were interwoven. Their hands were shaking. There was an air of certainty and uncertainty mixed together. It felt the same, but also very different. Just like on that October night over Manchester, Dan could tell that this moment was important, though he couldn’t say exactly why. It was the tremor that sparked the swell of the second tsunami in the ocean of his life.

Unlike that first night though, it wasn’t Dan who made the ever-so defining move. It was Phil. And the move wasn’t a kiss. It was it was a motion and emotion much more bold.

Phil let go of Dan’s hand and reached into the pocket of his suit jacket. At first he didn’t think anything of it. But then, sooner than he could process it, Phil was on one knee in front of him, presenting a small grey box, open and holding a silver ring embedded with a black diamond. It was perfect. The moment was perfect. Phil was perfect. For a little while, everything was perfect.

Dan’s heart started fluttering so much that he was surprised it didn’t leave his chest entirely.

“Dan. I’m sorry in advance as I’m totally going to mess this up and ruin the moment, but I know that you love me so you’ll forgive me. I love you so much, I don’t even know where to start. I’ve known you for years now. First as my best friend, then as my my boyfriend, and now, I hope, as my fiance. I knew from early on that you were somebody special, and I fell in love you faster than my naive 20-something year old heart could begin to process. We’ve shared so much Dan. Stories. A home. Love. And now, I’d really love it if you’d share the rest of your life with me, officially. So, Daniel Howell, will you marry me?

“Yes, Of course I’ll marry you.” Dan whispered, eyes gleaming with joy, and admittedly some tears. 

Phil slipped the ring onto Dan’s finger and stood up, immediately met by a passionate but gentle kiss. Dan collapsed into Phil’s arms and buried his face in the collar of Phil’s shirt, sobbing and murmuring strings of “I love you”, a little song of emotion. He feel his heart racing, and he could hear Phil’s. Every emotion and memory came at them at once. It was overwhelming but it was also perfect and beautiful. Just like their love. 

Even after they reached the ground, their minds stayed way up in the clouds,on a high of emotion. Who could really blame them?

On the way back to hail another cab, they left no room for even molecules to come in between them. Their, hands joined together as Phil rested his head on Dan’s shoulder. Somewhere along the way, Dan pressed a kiss to Phil’s lips, and he couldn’t have cared less who saw. They wondered why they ever had. The cab ride was filled with whispers of sweet nothings and limbs pressed together, racing hearts and glowing eyes. 

Their flat felt more like a home when they got back than ever before. Not a forever home, that would come later, but a home nonetheless. They speckled it with happy tears, slightly clumsy dances to overplayed love songs and video game OSTs, mugs of hot chocolate and tea to soothes Dan’s throat and soul and his heart between. They hung these moments up on the walls of their lives as little decorations.

Through the evening and long into the night, not even a single quark graced the space between them. Two lives that had been so close that they had almost been indistinguishable before finally combined into one, as one world ended and another one began with neither a bang or a whimper.


End file.
